gentlegiant | September 13, 2010

[Private]

I don't know what to think about this year so far, and it's barely started. The third graders will be here for art soon, and I keep going over and over how many ways it could go wrong. I shouldn't be terrified by people half my size. Okay, well, Roslyn Chambers is almost as tall as me already, but she's a giant. That's different.

Cass Cole tried to give me one of her readings, and it just didn't make any sense to me. Well, I guess the focus part does make sense. I need more focus. But it's hard. And every time I think I've got a handle on things in life in general, something comes along to confuse it all over again. Like mom getting pregnant. Which shouldn't surprise me so much. I'm eighteen, Jenna's twelve, and Nate's six. So I guess she's got this six year itch. Kind of like pon farr. That really wasn't funny when I said it out loud.

What hurts is that she's due in November. Yeah, November. I know, I didn't really try to go visit this summer, but it seems like... it seems like maybe she should've told me. Or that Jenna would've said something since we did email a little. I guess I'm right; she really doesn't need me as a part of the family anymore. Or think of me as one.

I keep looking at the key Colwyn gave me, and I wonder what it opens. And why he gave it to me. I don't understand him at all. I'm not the kind of person he's friends with. Ever. I'm not useful, except if you need a mural painted or something. And he terrifies me, because he keeps being so nice, and sometimes I just want to accept it. But I'm afraid I'll turn around the next day and he'll be nasty. It's easier to trust someone who... someone who needs me, I guess. And at the risk of sounding stupid all over again, am I going to lose Doyle as a friend because he's got a roommate he gets along with now?

I feel like an afterthought. You'd think it'd be hard to forget about someone who's as big as I am, but I guess it isn't that hard at all.

[/private]

First day of classes. I had to go to breakfast with the lower school, and they all stared at me when I was introduced. The youngest ones all seemed so excited and terrified at the same time. I think it's going to be a fun year. We're starting with sculptures this week, working in sculpy now, and clay later.

[Private]

Almost forgot. In a moment of complete idiocy, I sent Colwyn a birthday gift. It's official, I'm insane.

[/private]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You can't lie?

No. I can't lie. And no one knows that but you.

There are mentions of it in the faery lore quite often, but I'm the only one I know of who manifests it now. Nevertheless, it's true.

If I try to speak something that is not true, the words won't come out.

I'm not going to tell.

Maybe this weekend. I need to focus on teaching. And my own homework.

Whenever you like. You know where to find me.

September 13, 2010

Private to Peter and Colwyn

Private to Peter and Colwyn

Private to Peter and Colwyn

Private to Peter and Colwyn